From Academia to Social Media

Here is my blog post about one of the authors from my academic journal. I chose to find what social media networks Thomas K. Hagood was on.  

Thomas K. Hagood

Social Media Networks:

• LinkedIn

Social Media Presence:

• Thomas K. Hagood is not on any social media networks except for LinkedIn. His LinkedIn account is very professional. It describes all of his work experiences, publications, education, and awards. I learned that Thomas K. Hagood has published many other books besides the academic journal I found. I also learned that he is well educated and very involved in performing arts higher education. 

Persona on Social Media vs. Academic Journal:

• Thomas K. Hagood is very professional on both his LinkedIn account and in the academic journal. The only difference is that his LinkedIn account is a description of all his experiences while the academic journal is in first person. However, his persona is similar in both. He is professional and trying to inform his readers of a specific subject, whether it is his background information or his advice and experience about dance education.  

Academic Discourse & Genre.

This blog post was good for me to read through the journal and familiarize myself with its information. It was interesting to see what genres academic journals for dance to communicate their information with their audience. 

Condesign. “Education.” 12/8/15 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain

1. How many different kinds of genres seem to be published in this particular issue of the journal you selected? (Remember, genres are usually identifiable by their form, content, techniques and/or social function.)

• I found 4 different genres throughout the dance journal, “Legacy in Dance Educations."

2. If you don't know the 'official' names for these different genres, come up with names for the yourself. Identify at least three different genres within the journal issue and describe the significant formal differences between the three genres (that is, what are the key differences or characteristics that seem to be unique and distinguish them from other kinds of texts?). If you made up your own name, explain why you chose the name you invented. If you'd like, provide snapshots of the different genres (clearly labelled) to help your reader see how they look different (or are organized differently, with different conventions) on the page.

• Three different genres in the journal are short essays, numbered lists of information, and interviews. The short essays have a title above them and then a paragraph of information underneath them. The numbered lists of information pretty much explains itself. Rather than formatting the information in a paragraph style, the information is in either a numbered list or a bulleted list which makes it easier for its audience to read. Lastly, the journal includes interviews. There will be an introduction for what the interview is about, abbreviations next to each person’s name, and then the interview which states exactly what each person says next to their name abbreviation. 

3. Now come up with your own definition for each genre (using the name you coined, if you weren't sure what the ‘ official' name is for the genre). Be sure to explain what you percieve to be the purpose of each genre and how each genre might meet the needs and expectations of a target audience.

• The short essays are the main genre used throughout the journal. They are a good way to communicate what you are trying to explain to your audience in a paragraph form. The numbered lists include information that is not in complete sentences. They are summaries of information in lists to make it easier for the reader to read and to let the reader know it is important information that they should remember. The interviews are written so the reader can hear first hand from what the educators are trying to get across. They are included in the journal as primary information. 

Rhetorical Analysis of Academic Journal

It was very difficult for me to find an academic journal about dance that was a hard copy in the library. Most of them were online. However, I found this very helpful journal about dance but it does not include the date published on the front cover. I decided to use it anyway because the information in the book was exactly what I needed. The book is called, "Legacy in Dance Education," and the latest issue was published in 2010.

1. Who are the authors/speakers published in this specific issue of the academic journal you've selected? How many different authors are published here? What do you know - or can you find out - about these people? How are the authors/speakers portrayed in the journal issue? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

• There are many different authors in this journal. Total, there are 12 authors. They are all former dancers and specialists in dance. For example, is an author and the editor of this journal. He is a well known dance-arts educator and has founded and edited many books relating to dance. This journal specifically includes essays and interviews on values, practices, and people in dance. That means the authors are seen as well experienced in the field and have the right to share their views and insights.

2. Who is the intended audience for this particular journal issue? How can you tell? Are there any secondary audiences included here? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

• This journal is was written for those seeking a profession in dance. It was also written for those interested in dance education. The content included is about dance discipline, pioneers of dance education, the legacy of personal interactions, and a legacy for teaching. 

3. What is the context surrounding this particular journal issue? How does this affect the content of the journal? (See the bulleted questions on Student's Guide page 180 for specific questions about context). Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

• The journal was published in 2010 online and in a hard-copy book. The book is intended to share personal experiences from its authors to its audiences. It should inspire its audience to want to record their own experiences as well.  

4. What is the overall message of the journal issue? How did you decide this? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

• The overall message of the journal is that dance education is very important. It wants to share the message that is is also important as a dance educator to record and share your own experiences. The journal stresses that it is important to keep the legacy of dance alive. 

5. What purpose is the journal issue trying to achieve? Cite specific details from the journal issue in your answers. 

• The purpose of the journal is to inform its audience of why dance education is important, who important dance educators are, personal interaction, and the legacy of teaching. I could decipher the purpose of the journal by reading the introduction and the titles to each of the chapters.  

My Interviewees as Professional Writers

This blog post was difficult for me because both of my interviewees are grad students and do not have any professional publications in academic journals. However, I could find some of their choreography which they have either posted on Facebook or Youtube.

Brownell, Ryan. “Bella Rose Arts Centre Stage.” 2/17/09 via Wikipedia. Attribution 3.0

#1 Myra Joy Veluz

Professional Publications:

• I could not find a lot about Myra’s professional publications because she is still very young. I know she has choreographed before, but she does not publish it online or on Youtube. However, she does write articles about dance interviews and critiques for shows on a website called Stage and Cinema. 

Two Different Publications:

• Myra did not publish this herself, but here is a video of a dance she choreographed at UCSB. It is called, "Global Eyes Dance" and was posted on Youtube by Sara Jewell. Another one of Myra’s publications is an article she wrote on the website Stage and Cinema. She wrote about an interview between the Stage and Cinema crew and a famous tap dancer, Savion Glover. The article is called, “Dance Interview: Savion Glover (Tap Dancer and Choreographer of Stepz.” These two genres are very different from each other. One is visual and is left to the audience to interpret. The other is written and is merely describing an interview to inform its audience details about Savion Glover and his new show Stepz. 

Context Surrounding the Two Different Pieces:

• Myra’s “Global Eyes Dance” was posted on March 1, 2011. It was posted as a video on Youtube. Her audience was individuals who went to the UCSB dance show and either have a background in dance, know someone in the show, or enjoy watching dance. Myra’s article was published on March 3, 2014 on a website called Stage and Cinema. Her audience would be people who read articles on that websites and people who are fans of dance. 

Overall Message of Each Piece:

• The overall message of Myra’s choreography, Global Eyes Dance, is that of dark, energetic chaos. There is no story to it, but rather a piece for the audience to interpret themselves and enjoy. I can tell this by the way they dance in the video. They are in black costumes and dance without telling a story. The message of her article about Savion Glover is to share with her audience an interview between Glover and the crew from the online website, Stage and Cinema. It is formal and biased towards Glover’s accomplishments with his new show. I can tell it is biased because Myra states, “Savion Glover is easily one of the best tap dancers this country has ever produced."

Purpose of Each Piece:

• The purpose of Myra’s dance was to entertain her audience and take them out of their everyday lives into more of a dark and emotional place. I could tell this by the music, their dark costumes, and choreography on the floor. The purpose of Myra’s article was to inform her audience of Savion Glover’s new show. She states when and where the show will be held and praises the show by giving it good reviews. 

#2 Magda Kaczmarska

Professional Publications:

• Like Myra, there was not a lot I could find about Magda’s professional publications. All I could find were videos of her choreography she has posted on Facebook. I could not find any written publications by Magda. 

Two Different Publications:

• One of Magda’s publications on Facebook is a dance she choreographed and performed in at The University of Arizona School of Dance’s Last Chance to Dance and Here and Now shows. The piece is called, “I Play the Wind.” Another video she posted on Facebook was a dance that she performed in a studio. She did not give the piece a name but it can be found here. Both of these dances are Magda’s choreography and have the same genre conventions. 

Context Surrounding the Two Different Pieces:

• Magda’s first piece was posted on May 7, 2015. It was posted as a video on Facebook. Her audience was people who attended the show and all of her friends on Facebook. The second dance she posted was a video on Facebook as well. It was posted on October 9, 2014 in Tucson. Her audience is her friends on Facebook, specially one person, Davonna, who she tagged in it. 

Overall Message of Each Piece:

• Magda’s first dance, which is called,“I Play the Wind,” is danced to spoken word along with music. For the first half of the dance, Magda and her partner, Julian Johnson, are dancing to someone reading a poem. The message of the piece is of beauty and connecting souls. I could tell by their movement and the words from the poem. The second dance is performed purely to music. It starts on the floor and has a more sad and peaceful message to it. I could tell this my the music and slow movement. 

Purpose of Each Piece:

• Both dances have the same purpose. They are trying to entertain their audiences and evoke emotion from them. Whether it is sad, happy, or angry emotion, that is up to the audience and how they connect with the dance. 

Report on My Interviews

My interviews were very informative an interesting. I learned a lot about my field and the different genres professionals in my field use to create work and communicate with others.

OpenClipartVectors. “Job Interview.” 10/22/13 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

1. What are the most significant or interesting genres that you learned about from your interviewees? Please identify at least THREE specific genres from your discipline/field of study that your interview subjects discussed writing within. 

• Three specific and interesting genres that my interview subjects talked about were choreography, writing grants, and writing resumes. 

 

2. How do these genres differ from one another? Think about things like genre convention, content, purpose, audience, message, and context as you describe these differences.

• Each of these genres have very different conventions. Choreography is a visual way of communicating with your audience. Its purpose is to evoke emotions or feelings from the audience through the movement. It can be performed on stage, or wherever the choreographer choses, and can be shown in front of audiences who have prior knowledge about dance, or no knowledge about dance at all. Writing grants is a skill choreographers with less money need to have. In order to produce a show and rent a theatre, one needs enough money, so writing grants is very important. In the grant, you must state why you need the money and why they should give it to you. Your audience is whoever has the money to fund the arts and is giving away grants. Writing resumes is also very different from the other two genres. As a dancer, a well written resume can help you get jobs. The resume must include, your skills, training, experience, and contact information in an easy to read format. Your audience is whoever you are trying to get a job from. 

3. Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is challenging and/or difficult about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

• Choreography is challenging because sometimes you can’t find a time when all of your dancers can meet, or the audience interprets the dance differently than you wanted them too. Writing grants is hard because no one really teaches who this skill. You either have to ask a friend who has written one before or figure it out yourself. Writing your resume is challenging because you want to fit it onto one paper, while still including all of the information, in a format that includes white space for your readers. 

4. Based on the information you gathered in your interviews, what is exciting and/or rewarding about writing within these genres (from a professional's point of view)?

• Choreography is very exciting when you are complete. It is very satisfying and exhilarating to see what you imagined in your mind come to life on stage. It is very rewarding to figure out how to write a grant, and if you wrote it well enough, actually receiving the grant to continue with your project. Resumes are also very rewarding if they help you get the job. 

5. Where in mass media - popular, academic, and/or social - can examples of this genre be found? If genre examples cannot be found within mass media easily, where can genre examples be found/located?

• Choreography can be found in many places including Youtube, Facebook, or Vimeo. Grants can not be found in mass media. Those are only seen by the individuals giving the funding for the project. Resume’s can be found on websites such as LinkedIn or agencies for dancers. 

My Interviewees on Social Media

This blog post shares which social media networks my interviewees are on and how they present themselves on those networks. I learned that how one presents themselves on social media is very important. I also learned that since social media networks are becoming so popular in the 21st century, it is a great way to expose one’s work.

LinkedIn. “LinkedIn Logo.” 3/10/11 via Wikimedia. Public Domain. 

#1 Myra Joy Veluz

Social Media Networks:

• Facebook
• LinkedIn
• Youtube

Social Media Presence:

• Myra’s social media presence varies. On Facebook she is pretty laid back. She shares her dance videos and also promotions for upcoming shows, while also engaging with friends and family. Her LinkedIn is very professional. It describes her education, experience, certifications, skills, and a short bio. Myra’s Youtube account is of her teaching and choreography. I learned she is a very skilled and experienced dancer who is also a fun person. 

Persona on Social Media vs. Academic Journal:

• This question does not apply to Myra because she has never written in an academic journal. Her publication of her choreography was posted on a social media network, Youtube. Her articles that she writes for Stage and Cinema are very professional yet also very personal because she adds her own voice to them. 

#2 Magda Kaczmarska

Social Media Networks:

• Facebook
• Instagram
• LinkedIn

Social Media Presence:

• Magda’s social media presence on Facebook and LinkedIn is professional. She uses them as a way to connect with other dancers and expose her work. However, her Instagram is of her personal life. I learned that Magda is a very dedicated dancer who loves getting involved in anything related to dance. 

Persona on Social Media vs. Academic Journal:

• Again, this question does not apply to Magda. Her publications of her choreography are on Facebook. 

My Profession

This blog post is about my profession and why I chose to pursue it. Finding the academic journals was hard but everything else was fun to write about and share!

M.Fitzsimmons. “UA Dance Building.” 11/27/10 via Wikimedia. Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported.

1. What do students in your program or department learn how to do?

• Dance majors at The University of Arizona School of Dance focus on learning correct dance technique and getting performance experience. They are required to study all three styles of dance: ballet, modern, and jazz. The goal is to prepare dancers for future professional careers in dance post graduation. 

2. What do people who get degrees in this field usually go on to do for work?

• After getting their BFA degree in dance, dancers have many options. They can either join professional dance companies and perform concert work, get an agent and do commercial work, dance on broadway, dance on cruise ships, or become teachers and choreographers. 

3. What drew you to this field?

• I have been dancing ever since I was three years old. It has always been a dream of mine to become a professional dancer. While some people start their dance careers straight out of high school, I wanted to go to college and earn a BFA in dance. I chose The University of Arizona School of Dance because it has one of the top programs in the country. 

4. Name three of the leaders/most exciting people involved in this field right now in 2016. Why are they interesting or exciting to you? These could be individual people or specific companies, organizations, businesses or non-profits. Hyperlink us to a homepage professional website for each person, if possible.

• Hubbard Street Dance Chicago is one of my favorite dance companies. They are one of the most popular modern dance companies that are based in Chicago. They travel around the world performing their repertoire. 
• William Forsythe is an individual who really interests and inspires me. He is a leading choreographer in the 21st century who uses ballet technique and makes it modern and abstract.
• Tabitha and Napoleon Dumo are other leading choreographers in the 21st century. They are based in LA and do more commercial work. They are involved in many organizations and are well known in the dance world. 

5. What are the names of three leading academic/scholarly journals in your field? Where are they published? Give us the names and locations of at least 3. (HINT: If you have no idea what the answer to this question is, try Googling “What are the top academic journals in [insert field of study]?” and peruse the results). Make the titles of each journal into a working hyperlink to the website for that publication. (NOTE: if your links aren’t included or don’t work or if the page it directs us to is blocked from public view, I will not be able to assign you full credit for this exercise).

• One leading academic journal in my field is the American Journal of Dance Therapy.  It is published by Springer US and is found only online. Another leading academic journal is Dance Chronicle: Studies in Dance and the Related Arts. It is published by Routledge and is found online and in text. Finally, Legacy in Dance Education is a popular academic journal in dance. It is published both online and in text. 

My Interview Subjects

I am currently a dance major at The University of Arizona School of Dance, so I interviewed five grad students here at the School of Dance. I thought it would be interesting to see their different inspirations and processes for creating their choreography for their thesis. Below is background information about two grad students I interviewed/ am going to interview. 

ClkerFreeVectorImages. “Dancer.” 4/6/12 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

Interviewee #1: Myra Joy Veluz

Myra Joy Veluz, Grad student at The University of Arizona School of Dance

Linkedin page found here.

 Organizations/ Job Titles :

• Second year grad student at The University of Arizona School of Dance
• Executive Board Social Chair and College of Fine Arts Representative for the Graduate and Professional Student Council
• Trainer at Pop Physique San Marino

Higher Education :

• Received a BFA in dance,  a BA in Sociology, and an Anthropology minor from The University of California, Santa Barbara
• Currently working towards her MFA in dance at The University of Arizona School of Dance

Years Worked in Field Professionally :

• In 2006, she joined the “Let’s Dance Company” and toured Australia and Germany
• Myra rejoined the company in 2010 at East Los Angeles College
• She performed with the company annually and became the teaching assistant at East Los Angeles College for 4 years
• For 2 months she was also the dance instructor at the Summer Institute for the Gifted at UCLA
• She is now teaching and choreographing at The University of Arizona School of Dance to complete her MFA in dance 

Scheduled Interview :

• Date: February 22, 2016
• Time: 3 pm 
• Location: Grad Dance Office 

Interview Questions :

1. How would you describe your position as a grad student at the University of Arizona?
2. How has your time traveling and studying at The University of California, Santa Barbara prepared you for the kinds of work you engage with in your profession?
3. What inspires you to create your work (specifically your thesis)?
4. What is your creative process for creating your work?
5. How do you expose your work to the world?
6. How much consideration do you give to your intended audience?
7. Are there any other genres you work in as a dancer?
8. What writing situations have you been put into?
9. Is there anything about professional communication that you think young people just starting out as dancers should now?

Interviewee #2: Magda Kaczmarska

Magda Kaczmarska, Grad student at The University of Arizona School of Dance

Website found here.

 Organizations/ Job Titles :

• Second year grad student at The University of Arizona School of Dance
• Model at The Drawing Studio, Inc.
• Company dancer/ rehearsal director at Evolve Dance-West

Higher Education :

• Received BFA in dance at The University of Arizona School of Dance
• Currently working towards her MFA in dance at The University of Arizona School of Dance

Years Worked in Field Professionally :

• Has been performing/ choreographing since 1996, with companies such as Southern Arizona Dance Theatre, Flor de Liz Dance Ensemble, and Dance Rhapsody
• Has been teaching since 2004 at places such at Dance Rhapsody, Showbiz Dance Academy, Breakout Studios, and Flowing Wells High School

Scheduled Interview :

• Date: February 24, 2016
• Time: 4 pm
• Location: Grad Dance Office 

Interview Questions :

1. How would you describe your position as a grad student at the University of Arizona?
2. How has your professional background prepared you for your time as a grad student at The University of Arizona School of Dance?
3. What inspires you to create your work (specifically your thesis)?
4. What is your creative process for choreographing?
5. How do you expose your work to the world?
6. How much consideration do you give to your intended audience?
7. What are some of the most challenging or rewarding audiences you have choreographed for?
8. Are there any other genres you work in as a dancer?
9. Is there anything about professional communication that you think young people just starting out as dancers should now?

Brutally Honest Self-Assessment

Finally done with project 1!! It has been a long, rough journey and I am so relieved to have submitted it. However, I have learned a lot throughout this process. If I ever need to make a QRG in the future I will be a pro at it!

OpenClipartVectors. “Smiley Face.” 8/7/13 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain. 

1. How are you feeling about the project you just submitted for assessment? Give me your raw, unvarnished opinion of your own project overall. 

• I was extremely proud of my QRG until I had to download it as a .doc or .pdf. After I downloaded it the formatting was completely off and I was back to square one. This was very frustrating because I spent a long time to get the formatting perfect. After I download it, I had to change some things and now it does not look the same as before and it makes me really angry. However, I am really proud of my QRG from the link! 

2. What are the major weaknesses of the project you submitted? Explain carefully how and why you consider these elements to be weak or under-developed.

• I would say my biggest weakness is incorporating descriptions for all of my stakeholders. That is what all of my peer reviews told me I needed to add. While I did add descriptions and hyperlinked each of the stakeholders to their bios, I am still nervous it is not enough or does not flow like it did before. I am also nervous about my formatting like I said before. 

3. What are the major strengths of the project you submitted? Explain carefully how and why you consider these elements to be strong or well-developed.

• I think my title is one of my major strengths. Titles are important because they either draw the reader in and make them want to read your article, or push them away because it sounds boring to them. My QRG is also very informative without being biased and boring. 

4. What do you think of how you practiced time management for Project 1? Did you put enough time and effort into the project? Did you procrastinate and wait till the last minute to work on things? Share any major time management triumphs or fails.... 

• Well, I was confused on how rough our rough draft could be, so during the productions week I pretty much finished everything including the formatting. That week we also had the most bogs and I barely submitted all of them by 11:56pm on Sunday night. Although I did not procrastinate, I did struggle with finishing everything on time. Completing the project by the end of productions week made it easier for the next two weeks to follow. Because my project was already formatted and written out, I could focus on adding details and editing my grammar. I was very good at time management and made my self complete at least a blog a night. 

Local Revision: Variety

Here are my answers to the questions about sentence and paragraph variation. This blog really made me aware of my writing style and how important sentence variety is.

LGEPR. “Natalie Portman.” 2/26/11 via Wikipedia. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

1. How much variation is there in your sentence structures in the current draft? Can you spot any repetitive or redundant sentence patterns in your writing? Provide a cogent analysis of what the Rules for Writers reading tells you about your sentences.

• My QRG has a lot of variation. I start every new paragraph with different transition words, switch up the sentence structure, invert a few sentences, and do a pretty good job at not repeating myself. I could not find any redundant sentence patterns in my writing. 

2. What about paragraph structures, including transitions between different paragraphs (or, for video/audio projects, different sections of the project)? 

• My transition between paragraphs are very smooth in my QRG. Everything flows and is in an order that makes sense. I include also include subheadings that give my reader an idea about what they are going to read in each section. 

3. What about vocabulary? Is there variety and flavor in your use of vocabulary? What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft's approach to vocabulary?

• I think I use a variety of vocabulary and flavor in my QRG. I include high vocabulary words without making it too difficult for my readers to read. Some paragraphs use more than others so I should make it even throughout. 

Local Revision: Pronoun Usage

Below are answers to questions about my pronoun usage. The list of my pronouns that I used in my QRG can be found here.

Lamailloux, Bernard. “Se Poser Des Questions en Regardant Plus Haut.” 2/26/13 via Flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

1. Based on your analysis, how effective is your pronoun usage in Project 1? What does actively examining your pronoun usage tell you about your writing style?

• I feel as if my pronoun usage was effective. I used the right amount of pronouns without over doing them. Actively examining my pronoun usage made me realize I am very clear with my writing. I made it clear who/what each pronoun was in place of so there was no confusion about who/what I was referring to.  

2. Are there any instances in your project where you speak to or refer directly to the audience? If so, how effective are these moments at creating a bond or connection between audience and author? If not, why not? Explain why you're choosing to leave your audience out of your writing. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but you should be able to give a sophisticated explanation of your choices.

• There is only one instance in my QRG where I speak directly to my reader. It is in a subheading so it is not that effective at creating a connection between the audience and the reader. While I want to evoke an opinion about my controversy from my readers, I am not trying to connect with them personally. The goal of project one was to inform your readers about a controversy and I believe I did a good job at that without speaking directly to my readers. 

My Pronouns

Here is a list of all of the pronouns I used in my QRG and who they are referring to...

Zagros, Albor. “English.” 1/31/11 via Wikipedia. Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International.

Pronouns:

• her (Natalie Portman)
• her 
• her (Sarah Lane)
• their (Lane and Portman)
• them 
• they
• their 
• them 
• their 
• she (Natalie Portman)
• herself (Sarah Lane)
• it (Ballet)
• it 
• her (Natalie Portman)
• she 
• her 
• herself (Natalie Portman)
• their (Lane and Portman)
• it (The controversy)
• she (Natalie Portman)
• its (Black Swan)
• it (% of movie danced by Lane and Portman)
• she (Sarah Lane)
• her 
• she 
• her (Performer: Lane and Portman)
• her (Natalie Portman)
• many (People who have watched Black Swan)
• she (Natalie Portman)
• her (Sarah Lane)
• her 
• this (Art form of ballet being diminished)
• her (Sarah Lane)
• she’s  
• it’s (Ballet)
• their (Each side of controversy)
• their (Lane and Portman)
• it (The credit)
• her (Natalie Portman)
• she (Sarah Lane)
• you (Reader)
• their (Lane and Portman)
• his (Darren Aronofksy)
• he 
• he 
• this (Portman dancing on pointe)
• her (Natalie Portman)
• this (Quote from Andy Weisblum)
• herself (Sarah Lane)
• their (Each side of controversy)
• she (Sarah Lane)
• her 
• her 
• herself 
• her 
• her
• one (People with an opinion about the controversy)
• she (Sarah Lane)
• she 
• she 
• her (Natalie Portman)
• her 
• her 
• her 
• their (Supporters of Portman)
• her (Natalie Portman)
• anyone (People in general)
• she (Natalie Portman)
• their (Lane and Portman)
• their (Dancers)
• she (Wendy Perron)
• he (Savion Glover)
• she (Wendy Perron) 
• someone (General person)
• it (Becoming a ballerina in a year and a half)
• its (Perron’s argument)
• she (Sarah Lane)
• it (The movie)
• it (Hollywood setting)
• their (movie stars)
• this (Hollywood pressure)
• themselves (Portman and Black Swan producers)
• them 
• she (Natalie Portman)
• her 
• it (Portman receiving all the credit)
• it (The controversy)
• this 
• it 
• she (Natalie Portman)
• she 
• their (Both sides of controversy)

Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

Below are lists of all my verbs in the active (specific), active (general), and passive voices. It was difficult for me to find verbs in the passive voice but I think that was because I did not include very many in my draft.

Rowley, Keith. “Experimental Voice Group Singer.” 10/22/08 via Flickr. Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic.

Active (Specific):

• sparked
• diminish
• praised
• insists
• deserved
• disrespected
• portrayed
• preparing
• diminishing 
• lauded
• deserved
• involved
• dividing
• defending
• downplayed
• sparked
• participating
• hone
• practicing
• raise
• committed
• represents
• isn’t clamoring
• staking
• defending
• paints
• blurred
• reviewed 
• establish
• discern
• establish
• has devoted
• dance 
• perform 
• denying
• poured
• protect
• expressed
• reiterates 
• denied
• ingrained
• broadcasted
• dichotomize
• celebrated

Active (General):

• received
• stood
• watching
• is 
• are
• is
• trying 
• were
• let
• is
• had
• feel
• hold 
• was
• are
• given 
• spoke out 
• carried out 
• saying
• was
• telling 
• say
• reported
• was asked
• spent
• would say 
• spent
• speaking out 
• has
• stated
• have
• made
• had
• count
• has come out 
• credited
• stands
• called
• to think 
• creates
• were

Passive:

• was
• split 
• was filmed
• is backed 
• was given 
• are willing 
• will remain

Questions:

1. Looking at the breakdown of your verb choices here, what do you notice about your current draft? Are the actions in your piece mostly general, vague or non-specific? Are the actions mostly vivid and specific? Are there instances of passive voice? Summarize what you learned by analyzing your verb usage in this way.

• I noticed that I mainly use the active voice, and barely include passive voice in my draft. However, I did a good job of using a lot of specific active verbs and not just general verbs. I could still benefit from adding even more verbs that are vivid and descriptive. 

2. Based on this analysis, how could your use of verbs be improved overall in the project? Be specific and precise in explaining this.

• I could change up my voice more by including more verbs in the passive voice to make my QRG more interesting. I could also include more vivid verbs to describe my story to stimulate my readers’ five senses. 

Local Revision: Tense Usage

I used all three tenses (past, present, and future) in my QRG. However, I used the past and the present tense more than the future tense (I only used the future tense once). Here is my list for each..

Robbie. “Grammatical Tense.”  May 2008 via Wikimedia. Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported.

Past:  

• stood
• was filmed
• received 
• sparked- 3
• were- 3
• praised
• deserved- 2 
• disrespected 
• portrayed
• had- 2
• lauded
• was- 2
• involved- 2
• carried out
• downplayed
• reported- 5
• was asked
• spent- 2
• committed
• stated
• performed
• made
• blurred
• reviewed
• credited
• was given
• called
• poured
• expressed
• denied
• designed
• broadcasted
• ingrained
• created
• demeaned
• claimed
• congratulated
• celebrated

Present:

• watching 
• receive- 2
• split
• is- 11
• does 
• are-2
• trying- 2
• let
• diminish- 3
• insists
• preparing- 2
• feel
• hold
• given
• dividing 
• spoke out
• defending- 2
• say- 4
• telling
• participating
• hone
• practicing
• raise 
• represents
• speaking out
• isn’t clamoring
• has
• perform- 2
• staking
• have
• reporting
• count
• dance- 2
• establish- 2
• has come out
• discern
• has devoted
• was given 
• stands
• denying 
• protect
• to think
• be given 
• references
• reiterates
• thinking 
• creates
• pop up 
• dichotomize
• stole
• decide
• are willing
• will remain-2

Future:

• would say

Questions: 

1. Which tense is the most prevalent in your draft?

• Present tense was the most prevalent in my draft. 

2. What effect or tone/quality does the current usage of tense have on the reader/viewer/listener?

• The tense keeps my QRG present and relatable to my readers. 

3. If you're using more than one tense in the draft (which is not a bad thing at all), do the shifts between different tenses in the piece make sense? How do they flow? Are there any jarring or dischordant shifts in tense?

Yes the shifts make sense because when I am describing what happened when the controversy began I am using past tense because my controversy was in the past. However, most of my draft is in present tense because I am writing in the present to connect with my readers and relate it to what is happening in my controversy today. 

4. If you have not employed any present tense verbs in your piece - why not? Are there any moments of crescendo or dramatic action in the story you're telling that could benefit from being described or told in the present tense? Remember, present tense has an immediacy to it. It puts the audience right into the story as it is unfolding. It's a powerful technique. Could your piece benefit from that technique? How and why?

• I used present tense the most. 

My Verbs

This blog may seem simple but it took a long time. However, it was helpful for me to become aware of what verbs I repeat a lot in my QRG.

Turnauckas, Mark. “Verbs Territory.” 7/1/12 via Flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic.

Verbs:

• stood 
• watching 
• receive
• split
• was filmed
• received
• is
• sparked
• does
• are
• is
• trying
• were
• let
• diminish
• praised
• insists
• deserved
• disrespected
• portrayed
• is
• preparing 
• had
• diminishing
• feel
• deserved
• lauded
• hold
• was
• involved
• are
• given 
• dividing
• spoke out
• defending
• carried out
• downplayed
• saying
• was
• sparked
• telling
• say
• reported
• was asked
• participating
• hone
• spent
• practicing
• raise
• would say
• committed 
• spent 
• represents
• speaking out
• is
• isn’t clamoring
• trying 
• has
• is
• perform
• stated
• staking 
• reported
• performed
• have
• made
• defending
• reporting
• had
• count
• dance
• paints
• perform
• blurred
• is
• reviewed
• establish
• reported
• reported
• has come out
• dance
• discern
• establish
• has devoted
• diminish
• say
• credited
• was given
• stands
• called
• denying
• poured
• protect
• expressed
• is
• to think
• be given 
• reported
• receiving 
• references
• saying
• reiterates
• are willing
• thinking
• were
• denied
• involved
• prepare
• designed
• is
• broadcasted
• ingrained
• creates
• were
• sparked
• is
• is
• pop up
• dichotomize
• created
• stole
• demeaned
• claimed
• congratulated
• celebrated
• are willing 
• is 
• decide
• will remain

Tally of Verbs: 

• is - 11
• reported- 6
• was- 5
• say - 4
• were - 3
• receive - 3 
• perform - 3
• sparked - 3
• has - 3
• diminished - 3
• dance - 2
• are willing - 2
• trying - 2
• establish - 2 
• defend - 2 
• deserve - 2 
• defend - 2
• deny - 2
• spent - 2
• given - 2 
• think - 2 

Local Revision: Wordiness

This blog helped me a lot! I did not realize how “wordy” my paragraphs are. Now I want to go back through my entire QRG and edit it to make it more clear.

Roberts, Natalie. “Magnetic Poetry.” 2/13/05 via Flickr. Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic. 

Before:

        Lane has been adamant to establish the fact that she has devoted an incredible 22 years to perfecting her mastery of ballet and this fact lies at the core of her argument. An artist as talented as herself clearly didn't deserve to have her contributions and her art form diminished so readily by a team of producers and Oscar campaigners. No matter where one stands on the overall issue- few people could say she didn't deserve more recognition; that she should be credited for more than the "hand model" or extra role in the film that she was given. Lane also stands to argue that it is entirely wrongful for the Black Swan higher ups to broadcast an untrue perception of ballet as a whole and to make it seem as if any amateur could master the art in just a year and a half.

After: 

        Lane has been adamant to establish the fact that she had devoted 22 years to perfecting ballet, a fact that lies at the core of her argument. She clearly did not deserve to have her contributions or art form diminished by a team of producers and Oscar campaigners. No matter where one stands on the overall issue- few people could say Lane did not deserve more recognition or should not be credited for more than the "hand model” like she was in the movie. Lane also argues that it is entirely wrongful for the Black Swan higher ups to broadcast an untrue perception of ballet by making it seem as if any amateur could master the art in just a year and a half.

Question:

"How is the rewritten section different from the original, from the perspective of your audience? Is it better? In what way? Is it worse? In what way?”

• My rewritten section is a lot more clear and concise than the lengthy original paragraph. I eliminated any unnecessary words, confusing phrasing, and repetition. It is definitely better because it is shorter and easier to read. 

Peer Review 2

I peer reviewed Sarah Moskowitz’s QRG draft from section 4. Her rough draft can be found here. My peer review of her draft can be found here.

I also peer reviewed Joshua Smith’s video essay from section 2. His rough draft can be found here and my peer review can be found here.

AJ Cann. “Peer Review.” 5/23/08 via Flickr. Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic.

Here are my answers to the questions: 

1. I learned that formatting is very important for the visual appearance of a quick reference guide, along with the other genres. I also learned that even though you are very interested in your controversy, your audience may not be, so it is important to make your project informative, yet enjoyable and captivating for your readers.
2. I need to add some information and details to my rough draft. For example, I have to add specific descriptions of my stakeholders that describes their appearance and mannerisms. I also have to add information about what else was going on in the world during my controversy that could have affected it. In one of my peer reviews someone told me that I had too many pictures and that I needed to focus more on the text itself, so this weekend I am going to edit my formatting and take out some of my pictures.
3. One of my top three strengths is the title to my QRG. It is clever and will draw my audience in making them interested in reading the rest of what the controversy is about. Another one of my strengths is my use of side bars, graphs, and photos. While I may have a few too many photos, I still think they make my project a true QRG that is visually appealing and will be enjoyable for my readers. Finally, I think I did a good job of explaining both sides of the controversy without being biased. 

Peer Review 1

I peer reviewed Julia Davenport's draft for project one. Her draft can be found here. My complete rubric for her project with my grading and comments can be found here. 

Cleonard. "Rubric." 3/18/14 via Wikimedia. Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International.

After reviewing Julia's draft, I realized there are many revisions I need to make on my Quick Reference Guide. Along with Julia, I realized I did not give specific enough descriptions of my stakeholders. I also need to talk about how the setting affects my controversy and what else was happening in the world during the time period. However, I used the conventions of the QRG very well by adding subheadings, sidebars, and many pictures throughout. My project is also already in the correct format. Some mistakes Julia made in her draft was not using vivid descriptions to describe her stakeholders and not including pictures to make the QRG more appealing to the eye. However, I enjoyed how she made the quotes very big then explained them in the paragraph below them. I also liked how she used an event that happened in 2015 that relates to her controversy to begin her QRG, and then went in to how it started and explained her controversy in more detail.

Draft of Project 1

This is where you can find my rough draft of project one. It took a long time and a lot of hard work, but I hope you enjoy!

Gallot, Jean. "Stress." 2/8/13 via Flickr. Attribution 2.0 Generic 

For project one, I used the Quick Reference Guide as my genre. At first, I completed the project on a website that would not let people comment on it. However, I switched all of my information to Google Docs, but it might not be in the correct format. I will put the first link to my project as the Google Docs link where I would love to receive comments and feedback. The second link is my project in a correct Quick Reference Guide format. Please let me know what you think and what I need to fix to make it better. Thank you!

Google Docs link here.

Correct format of project here.

The Time Period

My controversy mainly happened during the months of February, March, and April of 2011. The Academy Awards where Natalie Portman won the Oscar for best actress for the movie "Black Swan" was on February 27, 2011. Sarah Lane wrote her article sparking the controversy on March 30, 2011. My local, national, and global stories are all from February, March, and April of 2011.

Altmann, Gerd. "News."5/4/11 via Pixabay. CC0 Public Domain 

Local News Stories:

• Big Hollywood: Steroids find their role in entertainment industry 
• The Quaid Conspiracy

National News Stories:

• 'Skins' boss defends his Racy Show
• Republicans want a return to workplace immigration raids 

Global News Stories:

• South Korea may have overplayed hand against pirates, critics say
• Egypt security forces crack down on scattered protests

It was difficult to find news stories during 2011 that were related to or affected my controversy. The local news stories were in Hollywood and included a story where Jeremy Jackson was not buff enough for a role in “Game of Thrones,” so he used steroids to get the part. This relates to my controversy Natalie Portman had to lose 20 pounds and train vigorously for her role in “Black Swan.” One of my national news stories relates to my controversy because the boss for the TV show “Skins” defends his show and says it is not racist. This is similar to how the producers and directors defend Natalie by saying she did most of the dancing in the movie. I could not find any global news stories that were related to my controversy.