Editorial Report 9a

Below is the rough cut and revised version of my conclusion paragraph. I ended up just changing the entire paragraph to make it better and flow with my essay.

Rough Cut:

Writing is an important skill for dancers to have. Whether it is writing a resume, writing a grant, or writing ideas out before choreographing, professional dancers use writing in their field all the time. Many may not realize it, but it is very necessary skill. It can help dancers gets jobs, grants, and communicate their work better.


Re-edited Selection:

In today’s modern society it’s naïve to think any professional can get by without writing and dancers are no exception. Many would be initially inclined to think that dancers have no real need or purpose for writing but the truth of the matter is that writing is not just an important skill for dancers to have- it’s an upmost necessity. I know first hand how essential the ability to write is in this profession- I wouldn’t have made it this far without it. Whether it be for finding work, garnering support through grants, or better communicating their work to others, the need to write persists throughout the whole of a dancer’s career.

Questions:

1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The content completely changed. I started fresh and re-wrote the entire conclusion. While the idea is the same, the revised conclusion does a better job of summarizing what my essay was about. It talks about how writing is important to professional dancer and why it is important.

2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?

• The form stayed the same because my genre is a standard college essay so my form is a paragraph. The only thing that changed was the length of the paragraph.